The Secret Word
by Cryztalix
Summary: There are many things that Po knows about Tigress, but why he is clueless when it comes to her and the word 'slurp? No worries though,Viper seems to be amused on this concept, because to her, 'Pay-back' is a harsh mistress...who wears prad.


She let out a sigh,

"Po…what are you doing?"

"N-NOTHING!" The panda replies while stumbling across the kitchen floor.

Tigress rolls her eyes, "I'm not sure that attempting to steal Master Monkey's cookies counts as 'nothing', Po."

"Ummm…it does if it's the Dragon Warrior…?" he mumbled back, sheepishly.

"..I'm not sure it works like that."

"OH COME ON!"

All was well in the Jade Palace, everyone had finished their training, and now it was time for the masters to take a break.

Crane would do his calligraphy.

Mantis would pratice his acupunture.

Monkey would go to Mr. Pings for lunch…and to get more of his almond cookies.

Po would be in the kitchen, (shocking…isn't it?)

Viper would go down to the town square for shopping…despite the fact that she didn't have many options of clothing to choose from.

And Master Tigress…well…let's just say that _she_ was one of the reasons Viper went to the town square.

*FLASH BACK*

"_Oh Come on Tigress, you act like shopping is a waste of time!" Viper chided._

"_-Andyou act like this is a new thing." Tigress retorted._

"_Well at least I know the difference between a half slip and a VEST….unlike a certain someone…" Viper teased._

_The tiger master rolled her eyes, "At least I can WEAR a half slip and a vest…unlike you."Tigress shot back, going along with the serpent's 'stylish contradiction battle'_

"_Hey, I'm not the one who confused eyeliner with MASCARA."_

"_Oh look, a sale on ribbons." Tigress dead-panned._

"_REALLY? WHERE?" Viper whipped her head around to find the stand that held the ribbons._

…_.till she realized that they were still in the Jade Palace courtyard and not in the town square._

"…_very funny Tigress…" she hissed._

_Said tiger had took the serpent master's 'weakness of ribbons' as a quick cover up for her escape._

_Jumping off the building entrance into the barracks was simple, the REAL challenge was…_

…_what should she do now?_

_*CRASH*_

_*STUMBLE*_

_Noises came from the kitchen, and this had answered the question to her situation._

'_Looks like I'll be seeing what Po is doing today..' she mused._

_*END FLASHBACK*_

She walked in on Po attempting to steal Monkey's cookies…as usual.

"So, um…what brings you here to the kitchen, Tigress?" Po broke the silence, trying to make this situation less embarrassing than it currently was.

"I guess you could say the noises of your blunders.." Tigress smirked.

Po was quiet for a minute.

"….Viper tried to get you to go shopping again, didn't she?"

Now TIGRESS was quiet for a minute.

"…maybe…" she slowly replied.

"…and then you distracted her to get away by telling her there was a ribbon sale in our courtyard." He finished off.

The tiger master blinked.

"Am I _that_ easy to read, Dragon Warrior?"

Po chuckled and walked towards her, "I know alot about you and your methods, Master Tigress…"

….then he stopped and re-thought what he just said.

"B-BUT IT'S NOT LIKE I WAS STALKING YOU OR ANYTHING!" He sputtered.

Tigress huffed, "Sure." She turned around, grabbing a cup of tea, and sat down at the table while Po went to go take a pot out of the cabinets to start on some noodles for the night.

He filled the pot with water and placed it on the fire, "Ya know Tigress, I never seen you try these noodles before.."

"That is probably because I am on a life-time tofu diet, Po….I'd figure that you'd know that, considering that you 'don't stalk me'." She responded slyly.

Luckily, Po wasn't hurt by her comment, because he knew she was playing around…or teasing…or _whatever_ it is that Tigress does for fun.

Finished with the first batch, he took the pot and set it on the table, along with some bowls and spoons.

"…Are you sure you don't want some?" he asked.

Tigress put her cup of tea down, "Yes Dragon Warrior, I am fine."

"Are you _sure_ you're sure?" he prodded.

"…Yes."

"Are you sure that you're sure of real sure-ness that is also sure of the sure things that you hafta be sure of which will be sure that you-"

"-_Okay,__just__shut__up_."

Po stood still, "Sure thing Tigress."

The tiger master let out a sigh of content.

"…Unless of course, you would LIKE to try my 'famous-but-not-as-famous-as-my-dad's-'noodles!" He exclaimed.

Looks like Tigress didn't deserve content.

"Po, please.."

"C'mon! They're good! I'm sure you'll love em!"

"I don't think so.."

"Really! You just might! I know I do! I slurp them all the time!"

Tigress wasn't sure what just happened, but that last comment Po said had made her stomach jump a little.

Po didn't seem to notice, since he WAS still talking.

"Sometimes, my dad would help me slurp them up myself!"

This time, her stomach _lurched_.

"Even when I was _younger,_ I used to slurp the noodles!"

Tigress clutched her stomach as she let a groan escape her muzzle.

"Tigress…are you okay?" Po asked, clueless that she was in pain the _entire__conversation_.

"I'm…I'm fine…I just….didn't make the tea correctly.." she made an excuse, not wanting to worry anyone over her…predicament.

…Or WHATEVER you would call this..

"..Really? You don't look too good.." he continued.

He was right, she had began to feel a little light-headed as well….

"No, Po, really, I'm fine!" She desperately tried to assure him, not wanting him to find out her weakness.

"ACK! YOU'RE DYING! DON'T WORRY, I'LL SAVE YOU!" Po shouted, freaking out that her life was in peril.

He ran to the counter and got another pot of soup and brought it to her.

"Here, slurp this, Tigress!"

GACK!

Tigress got up and ran outside, leaving a stumbling ,bumbling, and confused Po behind.

"NO! I will not allow you to die!" He stormed out after her..

..only to find her gagging and coughing.

"LOOK! SEE, YOU'RE COUGHING YOUR LIFE AWAY!" He shrieked.

"Po *gack* it's not, *bleck*..like that!" she said between gags.

"Sure it isn't!" he said sarcastically as he began to perform the Heimlich on her.

"I'll save you!" He screamed.

"P-PUT ME DOWN!" She hollered, getting agitated.

"NO! I WON'T LET YOUR LIFE END LIKE THIS!" He shouted back.

"WHY ARE WE YELLING? WE'RE RIGHT BESIDE EACH OTHER!" She retorted.

"ACTUALLY, WE'RE NOT BESIDE EACH OTHER, WE'RE HOLDING EACH OTHER!" Po continued.

"OH, YOU'RE RIGHT, I FORGOT THA-**PUT****ME****DOWN!****" **Tigress growled, kicking Po in the…tenders in order for her release.

"Ohohohohohoh….my consequences.." he squeaked before falling to the ground.

Tigress dusted herself off as she began to walk towards the barracks.

Po stumbled up and followed after her, "Does that mean you won't slurp some of tonight's noodles?"

She responded with the sounds of a retching groan.

While the panda continued after the tiger, a figure slipped from the shadows, slithering into the light…

"Looks like I know how to get Tigress to shop with me next time..." Viper giggled evilly.

Unfortunately for Po, he did not realize that Tigress had a sensitive stomach to the word 'Slurp' until later on that night, when he heard tortured screams and hacking gags coming from said tiger master's room….and along with those screams, he heard a familiar voice giggling and talking about how 'these ribbons are going to look so cute in your fur tomorrow.'

Po let out a sigh, "I told Tigress that she should've slurped some noodles…now she's gonna be sick all night _and_ tomorrow.."

_**The end! **_

_**Thank you for reading! Please read and review!**_

_**Sorry it wasn't such a strong ending however…..OH WELLZ!**_

_**I'd love to see your comments though!**_

My Kung Fu Panda art gallery, *Please erase the spaces when you use the link*

http:/ xxislangirlxx. deviantart. com/ gallery/30928975


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